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Messages - Hank Mardukas

#1
As I read the recent post on this blog, I see a lot of unfamiliar faces. As I look to my right I don't see my allies Hoopdog & HopkinNest7. I can only hope that my arch-nemesis Corporal Hicks lost his eyesight so he can no longer live stream Centinal Conference basketball from his mother's basement and make his sophomoric posts. 

As Jay Wright is gearing up to accept the New York Knick's Job, the Villanova head coaching job becomes available. As we all know, Villanova likes to recruit local and I have a credible source (Not Ryan Arcidiacono) that stated Landry is the top candidate to move up the street and take over the Wild Casts. Well deserved is all I can say, although Landry is boring and somewhat dull, he can sure coach a hell of a basketball game and he truly inspires and motivates his players. 

The question is who takes Landry's job after he leaves? Some of the more recent fans might not remember this name, but he was Cesar before Brutas brutally betrayed him. Scott Fitzgerald McClary.

The Cent needs Coach McClary back and this move makes more sense than purchasing bitcoin in the spring of 2018. McClary perfected the 3-2 zone defense even with unathletic guards like John Schreer and Michael Cera. This is all adding up to an amazing 2021 season and the rise of the Centinal Conference.
#2
Mules Point Guard Matt Ganias suspended for 2games for "juuling on team bus". Not sure what that means if anybody can decipher that would be great.
#3
Who is to Blame?

I have just been notified by Franklin & Mashall Alumni '04 Jackiem Wright (2nd in scoring that season) about the protest which prohibited the game from taking place. I want to go on record that (1) I am a giant advocate of peaceful protest and (2) I am NOT a fan of racism nor any hate speach. Having said that, my close and personal friend "reserved seat" left his vacation on the sunny shores of Sea Island Georgia early to catch the home opener. It's not fair to the fans and players who sacrifice so much to attend and play in the game.

Solution: Once again Hank a person of superior intellect has the answer. I will personally reach out to each school and talk to the dean of students to put this plan into action. It is my belief that if people want to protest they have to notify me a bare minimum of 24 hours before the game starts.

Example: Caroline and Kevin from McDaniel want to protest on the basis of inappropriate rhetoric which was said at a gathering of friends during a sporting event which she is in her constitutional right to do. She notifies me that she is planning a peaceful protest when the Fords come to town. My compromise is Caroline and Kevin have the right to protest during layup lines and half time. During the game they can protest as long as the ball is on the opposite side of the court. This was everybody still has their first amendment right and I can watch Mike Rice Jr. go for 30!

God Speed-

Hank
#4
What does Hank have in common with Michael Jordan, Jesus and The Undertaker... all of these extraordinary humans have made an epic comeback just like you are all witnessing Hank doing now. Let me take you all down a trip to memory lane. June 5th 2008, not a cloud in the sky in Boston that night when the emphatical Paul Pierce exits the game in a wheelchair early in the game. A packed stadium of 40,000 people, completely silent hoping to wake up from this petrifying nightmare. All Bostonians knew without Paul their destiny was nothing but impending doom. Paul came out of that locker-room full throttled just like Hank is doing on the boards. Paul was later crowned a champion and he cemented his legacy as will I, in advance you are all welcome.



Who would I be not to chime in on the Mules season. Yes, at times I was a harsh critic of Coach Hopkins and I do admit this was partially due to my undying loyalty for Scott McClary. Having said that I think Coach Hopkins has done an extremely good job with this young team. Whenever a coaching change is made you get to see the philosophy of the new coach through the newly recruited players. McClarley liked long athletic players who could get up and down the court in transition. He loved above the rim players like LaRose ad Rindock. Coach Hopkins seems to like more skilled and higher IQ players as shown by his more complex offense. Having the ability to instill the fundamentals in these sensational freshman shows that he truly has the potential to be great coach. I do agree that this blog should be more positive, but I would like to quickly mention that I believe the departure of Jake "DJ" Brown is a large contributor to this years Mules Success. When there is a divergence of ideas and ideologies between coaches', it is never a positive for the players.



Season is young and I'm looking forward to watching another great year of Centennial Conference Basketball!



-PS, I would gladly speak on any of your podcasts if given the opportunity to do so
#5
@Dave: How do I access this podcast? Does this have to do with youtube?
#6
Besides the birth of my kids, this is one of my proudest days on this beautiful planet you "so-called humans" call earth. I understand I am a controversial figure in the Centennial Conference but not one person here can doubt my commitment and passion to this conference. Today is a historic day, having the Cent get 3 teams into the NCAA Tournament. I am going to completely honest and was somewhat surprised that Swat, Hopkins, and F&M all got in. I remember in 2015, I was almost certain that Hopkins, F&M, and Dickinson would all get an innovation to the "big dance". In the words of my arch nemesis Reservedseat/GoDiplomats "F&M was robbed worse than a bank Jesse James hit." Today restitution has been paid in full to the Dips, as they prepare to make a deep run in the tournament. 2014 was still a great year for the conference as Dickinson made a run to the elite 8, lead by the DIII player of the year, Gerry "Garcia" Wixted. Hopkins also received an innovation but in my opinion, showed up a bit drunk to the big dance. Is everybody as amazed as what Loeffler has been able to do with his team. I want to formally apologize for making the statement that "Hopkins would be better off hiring Ira Goldstein." For those of you who don't know Mr. Goldstein was a banker/ my youngest kids rec basketball coach who served 12 years for insider trading, falsifying documents, and securities fraud. Even though Ira didn't know much about basketball, I thought he would be a better option because he is having a hard time finding a job after that whole debacle. I'm sorry Coach Loeffler and I don't want to get ahead of myself but is this the year the Cent will be represented in the Final Four?
#7
Hello Fellow Bloggers:
I just wanted to get everybody's prediction about how this season is going to end. I know many of you don't agree with my perception on the Cent, but please be respectful, I get enough $*** from my wife and my doctors. 

1. F&M: The reason why I believe F&M will beat Swat in the final game is the Dips backcourt. Fed and Tate know whats on the line and believe they will be bringing the regular season chip back to Lancaster and the Dip Zone will be rocking more than it was in 98.

2. John's Hopkins: I am putting them 2nd because I do think they will win out, but haven't been able to figure out this tie-break situation. All of these teams will have a win against each other and honestly I have no idea how this works so there 2.

3. Swat: After admitting I don't know how the tiebreak works, I put Swat in 3rd.

4. Dickinson: They are well coached and show some real signs of growth from the beginning of the year, but have no shot of winning the 4-5 game because of their opponent.

5. Mules: THE MULES ARE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. The only person who can stop Rindock is Ted Hinnenkamp and he's working at Morgan Stanley probably committing tax fraud (corporate greed). The Mules will lock up the 5th place even with all the injuries they have encountered. The Duke of Hazard is back and Coach Brown told me that Coach Hopkins told him that Duke is playing as well as Brandon Jones played back in 08 for Amherst. No word on Pete, probably a lost cause at this point.
#8
@BleedingGreen:
I do not believe the Mules will make the playoffs. The reason why is that Spencer the "Dukes of Hazard" is still out and no sign that Peter Morreale will be making a return anytime soon. Only so much Coach Brown can do on the sideline. Also, Rindock has totally let the 1,000 points go to his head. He has been a bit of a ball hog and heard him yelling at one of the bench players during a timeout. Also, anybody else impressed with the play of drastically underused Alex Mitton. Kid impressed me, been on the team 3 years and feel like he should have been getting minutes a long time ago.
#9
Anybody know if the Mules are still making the trip to Haverford??? Don't want to drive down there for no game like I did in 04!!!
#10
Sorry, I've been silent the last couple days, I Just returned from my post-mules victory bender. Having said that, I want to apologize to all of my 5 children, my wife made me aware of my actions and I regret those words. Having said that I am confident that the Mules will keep this streak of beating top 25 teams. It is very hard to beat F&M twice in one year, but anything is possible with the acrobatic Rindock who is the fearless leader that has just recently emerged for the Mules. Alongside Rindock, I believe O-O-O-wen McCloud will be a matchup nightmare for the dips guards. He is probably the most consistent 2-way player the Mules have on the roster. Also, is it too early to say the Hopkins is the new Marshall and Brown is the New Donaldson who we all know was the Gettysburg assistant womens basketball coach back in 02. My sources have not confirmed if the Duke of Hazard will be back from his recent encounter with the common cold. Have not been told about the freshman sensation Peter Morreale's return, I fear he might have lost the love of the game and maybe the mules should just move on from him. I also heard rumors that Gnias got a technical last game and that is completely false. He will be playing in his 56th consecutive game without a tech, keep up the good work son. 
#11
Player of the Year has been officially sealed up. Nick Rindock was unconscious as the mighty mules took down a depleting Swarthmore team. The atmosphere was electric and Rindock has proven himself to be THE BEST PLAYER IN THE CONFERENCE. Not only did the Mules pull this upset off, they did it without Pete Morreale and Spencer The Duke of Hazzard. Landry looked like a lost puppy on the sideline and really disappointed me out there, I could feel his insecurties from the 5th row. I feel as if he has lost the team and even heard Yonda and Walsh getting into with him on the sideline. On the other sideline, Hopkins and Brown proved that they are the fearless leaders that the Mules need. THIS IS OUR YEAR MULES FANS. I have literally not slept since the game. My wife tried to sedtate me with copious amounts of Xnax but nothing can slow me down now. I have wactehd the Rindock interview at least 20 times last night. I havn't been this proud of anybody for quiet sometime. I have never been this proud of any of my 5 chilldren, praise Rindock, priase Brown, LONG LIVE THE MULES.     
#12
After reading all of your posts I see how much this blog has missed me, so I have decided to make my return to the blog as I sit at my kitchen table, drinking my hazelnut coffee with nonfat skim milk and sugar.... with a splash of rum :P. I like the topic of discussing coaches and as many of you know I am a strong believer of my views and stand by what I say, but can admit when I'm wrong. I consider myself somewhat as a figurehead for this blog, similar to what Hubert Humphrey was to the democratic party in the 1968 election. I believe that the Cent historically has some of the best coaches in basketball, but this year there are many new faces who still have something to prove. I have been very impressed with what Loffler has been able to do at Hopkins. They are a fundamental team and exceeded my expectations. Landry over at Swat is a basketball genius and a great recruiter, I believe Swat will be the equivalent to what F&M has been the last decade. Robinson is a legend, there is no debating that. The best coach I have ever personally talked to although it ended with me getting escorted out of the gym by 2 Muhlenberg Managers back in 92'. Hopkins over at my place of worship has overall done a pretty good job with the Mules. He is missing perhaps the teams best player in Peter Morreale. "Big Pete", which they call him on campus suffered an undisclosed injury this past month. In his place came the Spence Duke of Hazard, the undersized big man who has outperformed my prior expectations. When I first saw Duke, I couldn't believe that Hop would start this kid, but boy was I wrong. Watching Duke track down rebounds reminds me of a lion hunting down a zebra, which I had the opportunity to see back in 88' when I was in Rhodesian which is currently known as Zimbabwe. On the topic of the Mules the musically talented "DJ" Jake Brown is also a big contributor, drawing up there newly implemented 1-2-1-1 press. After doing my weekly google search on Jake Brown I came across an article that he is the newest member of the Scranton Shamrock's. I am a little nervous that he will have trouble managing his time with all that basketball and adding his aspirations to become a top-tier DJ. 
#13
Nobody has responded to my post asking what is up with the German Born Big man Eric Weinheim. I am a little disappointed and fear that Coach Jake Brown told Coach Hopkins that Weirhiem is a lost cause. I truly believe Wierhiem had the potential to be one of the best bigs in Mules history. Let's have some fun with this a rank the best bigs in Mules History. Please feel free to leave your comments.

1. Sean Mackin: By far the best big I've ever seen play. He had the ability to not just be a dominant scorer but a great passer. I remember the F&M game back in 83', Mackin was being doubled team the entire game and lead the Mules to victory. He also was one of the hardest workers I've ever seen on and off the court. He ended up graduating with a 3.9 GPA which put him in a great position to be successful. He kept his competitive drive up in the workforce and made a boatload of money playing the future markets. Ever hear of Microsoft, Mackin was an early investor, pure genius. He was very successful as a College Coach and holds the record of most consecutive games of holding the opponent in single digits for the duration of the first quarter. He is currently starting a new company and is looking for outside investors, contact me if interested. Currently, we are only 40% funded.

2. Dennis Roth: Schools all-time leading rebounder, played in the mid 50's. Although he was thrown out of 6 games in his career. Glen Salow is his nephew, great basketball family.

3. Kevin Hargrove: Nice guy and comes from a great family. Can score the basketball but wasn't very consistent.
#14
I know we have gotten past the McClary talk but I have one last thing to say about this because Hopkinsnest has brought it up. McClary reminds me of Sam Hinkie, the former GM of the Sixers. Nobody understood anything McClary did during his tenure at Muhlenberg, but now everything is going just as he planned. He was truly before his time, some sort of basketball Jedi who could foresee the future. Only McClary believed that Hughes could be producing the way he is, Hughes is having a great season and McClary always believed in him. I know I have bad mouthed the Mules in the past, but now I understand what McClary had planned all along. He was truly a basketball mastermind and hope to see him back in the Cent. Some may say he is even a Vatican Assasian in the truest sense of the word!   
#15
The Mules win over the overrated, overappreciated, and underperforming Diplomats should only come as a surprise to the uneducated. Coach Jake Brown made some great half-time adjustments which put the mighty Mules in a great position to win. I'm sick and tired of people saying that Federici and Tate are the best back-court in the Cent. It is obvious the emphatic point guard Matt Gnias and the methodical Nick Rindock are the best. Gnias is a scoring point guard who reminds me a former mules great, the magnificent Matty German. Both leaders not only have the ability to see the floor but also put that orange spherical ball into the basket. Rindock, should be a candidate for player of the year. His mid-range game is uncanny and has improved his defensive game astronomically. As for coach of the year, you got to give it to Mules Assitant Jake Brown. Mark my words, he will be the first assistant coach to win coach of the year. Mules winning the chip, I'm calling it now!!!