FB: American Rivers Conference

[warthog]

A Central College student was having a problem with mice in his dorm room.  "Dang it," he told his friend from across the hall, "I've tried everything to get rid of those damn mice."

"I had the same problem." his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes."

"That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the rodents."

A couple days later as they are walking to class the friend asks, "How's it going with the mouse problem?"

"Not so good, dude."

"What's the problem?" his friend asks.

"To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."

[warthog]

I'll even pick on the Knights:

Q: Why did Wartburg choose orange as a school color?

A: So that the football team could wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up garbage for the rest of the week.

[warthog]

Q: Why do Central cheerleaders wear bibs?

A: To keep the tobacco juice off the uniforms.

[warthog]

A Central alum and a Wartburg alum met in a washroom during a convention.

The Central graduate said, "I bet they didn't even teach you to wash your hands at Wartburg?"

The Wartburg grad responded, "They taught us not to pee on our hands."

[DutchFan2004]

Q: Why do Central cheerleaders wear bibs?

A: To keep the tobacco juice off the uniforms.

You are brave.  This could bring the wrath of DF1 down on you.  

[warthog]

Two Wartburg fans were standing at a bar. The one said to the other, "You know, the Central Dutch might have won the IIAC title this year, but their fans are obnoxious idiots!"

A man walked up to them and with a mean look on his face said, "I find that statement offensive!"

One of the Knight fans replied, "Oh, you must be a Central fan."

"No," the man said, "I'm an obnoxious idiot!"

[Old Dutch]

OK, I'll get in on this late in the week:

Did anyone hear that Wartburg's Biology Department have discovered a new use for sheep?


Wool.

[Old Dutch]

I've never told anyone this before but I did try to get into Wartburg back in the day.

didn't have enough pimples.

[Old Dutch]

What do you call a Wartburg fan with half a brain?

Gifted.

[Fannosaurus Rex]

Oh man, this is getting intense!  Too bad I save my "A" material for Simpson.

[AZDutchman]

A Wartburg football player said to his teacher,
"I'm tired of taking these basket weaving classes!
I want to expand my potential and take Calculus, Physics and Literature."

The teacher sympathetic with the football players frustration said,
"I can help you out with that, but first let's try to get you to pass this course!"

[AZDutchman]

Last regular season high school game tonight, winning 49-12.
Record for the season, 8-2. Time for the playoffs.

Time to get another victory tomorrow.
Go Dutch!

Everyone have a good game with no injuries.

[Mr. Ypsi]

Just in case any of the Central/Wartburg jokes were original (I didn't notice any, but maybe? ), you'll want to keep an eye on the Cortaca Bowl (Cortland St./Ithaca), Monon Bell (DePauw/Wabash), and Bridge Bowl (MSJ/Thomas More) games next week.  I guarantee they'll 'steal' some of your material!

[warthog]

Thats all folks. 

If the Wartmobile is going to be on the road by 7:00 tomorrow morning, these old bones need to hit the hay.  I've enjoyed digging around for Central material the last 24 hours or so.  I hope no one was offended.  It should be a nice day tomorrow.  I can only hope the game will be as enjoyable as the weather is predicted to be.  Safe travels to all who are heading out for games.

[warthog]

Thought for the day:

Sport is one area in life where no one is worried about another's race, religion or wealth: and where the only concern is, 'Have you come to play?'

- Henry Roxborough